Moka G-Vibe

Amazing G-spot vibrator or pubic bone thumping menace? Behold, the Picobong Moka. The shape is what originally drew me towards it. It very closely resembles the LELO Ella dildo, which I also recently reviewed, so I expected that I would love it equally if not more. It is made of hard ABS plastic with a smooth silicone finish, so it is slightly less flexible than the pure silicone Ella. It is also slightly longer, with a bigger curve, and the g-spotting head has more surface area.

My feelings about the Moka as a g-spotting toy are pretty mixed. Sometimes I use this vibe and find that it works wonderfully. The flat wide tip makes it easy to stimulate my g-spot and the vibrations feel pleasant internally, but the radical curve and the Moka’s rigidity make a bad combination when it comes to my anatomy in particular because that edge occasionally hooks onto my pubic bone in a painful way. Read more


The LELO Ella is well known in the sex blogging community. Most people have lauded it as the ultimate g-spotting tool, or the first sex toy to ever teach them how to squirt. It has helped countless people find their G-spots and learn more about their bodies in general. It is loved by many, and disliked by few. With that being said I definitely agree with the general consensus that this is one of the best G-spot massagers out there.

The Ella is a luxury toy if I ever did see one. When examining it more closely the word “exquisite” comes to mind. The signature LELO box it arrives in is gorgeous and sturdy enough to reuse for storage. I do not have the space to keep a bunch of boxes around, but LELO has my back because the Ella comes with a satin storage pouch for that exact reason. Since it is made of a very matte silicone it does not attract a lot of lint anyway, but the satin bag still helps keep it clean which is nice. Read more

Bendy Beads

My lovely friends at Good Vibrations sent me on my most recent anal adventure when they mailed me the Fun Factory Bendy Beads to review. This is not my first beaded toy. I own similarly textured dildos and probes, but the Bendy Beads are shaped more like the traditional anal beads used in pornography. The difference is that the Bendy Beads are hygienically superior to the jelly rubber anal beads or the unfinished wood and cotton string bullshit you can find in some of those sleazy sex shops. (I have seen them. They are real, and they are horrifying.)

This type of toy takes some preparation for me to use. Rather than just whipping them out and popping them in for a quick fix I had to take time out of my day just to get my ass ready to test these out, so this review has taken me longer to write than others in the past. When it comes to the Bendy Beads I always have to start with an intensive warm up. Read more


Today’s review features a 100% silicone dildo sent to me by the wonderful folks at SheVibe. The Velvet is the smallest in a line of uniquely shaped dildos made by Fuze Silicone. These toys were designed to be used in a strap-on harness and stimulate the wearer with lovely ridges at the base. There is also a hole at the bottom for inserting a tiny bullet vibrator into.

This toy was designed specifically so that it would be long enough to use in a strap-on harness and slim enough for those who want less girth. It is about five and a half inches long, and only one inch wide. Fuze does make larger dildos with the same basic design if you like the shape but need something with more width. It is moderately representational with a defined head and veins around the shaft. Read more

Neo Plug

Neo PlugThis beautiful hunk of 100% medical grade silicone is the Neo plug. I have been lusting after this thing for a while, and the wonderful folks at Tantus answered my hopes and dreams when they sent it to me for review. Spoiler alert: this thing is fucking awesome. In fact, if you like anal play then you should probably stop what you are doing and buy one. You can get it for less than $40. It is smooth, butt-cheek compatible, and easy to insert. It is great for thrusting and even long term wear.

Are there any downsides to the Neo Plug? I have seriously rattled my brain, and there are no flaws as far as I can tell. It may not be curved for prostate stimulation, it may not be especially large, it may not be textured, it may not vibrate, it may not be soft and squishy, but the overall design is solid. It does exactly what I expected it to, and I really enjoyed using it. Five unicorns out of five. Read more

Stronic Eins

Stronic Eins Fun Factory really shook things up this time with their new line of Pulsators. The technology behind these toys is completely different than anything else on the market. Unlike vibrators, the Stronic Eins, Zwei, and Drei do not buzz or rumble. Instead, they are mostly hollow on the inside and utilize a small metal weight that shifts back and forth to create a smooth thrusting motion.

Nothing excited me more than finally getting my hands on the Stronic Eins (the smallest, least textured of the three.) It was a little pricey, but every sex toy reviewer and their kinky grandmother seemed to love this thing. Many claimed it was one of the best g-spot toys out there. Guys, I am disappoint. Read more

Plunge Paddle

photo 1Welcome to this week’s review, otherwise known as “I dip my dildos in cream cheese for science!”  Let’s start right off the bat with some details about our product, the Plunge Paddle! This is one of five silicone paddles made by the wonderful folks over at Tantus. It most closely resembles their Thwack Paddle. However, unlike the other four, the handle has been redesigned to also act as a dildo for insertion play.

If you are a kinkster like myself and are seriously into impact play then I can see why you might be drooling at this thing from a mile away. A silicone paddle has a few advantages over more traditional materials such as wood, rubber, or leather. This includes being waterproof, non-porous, and 100% body safe. The concept behind the Plunge Paddle is brilliant. So, how could it go wrong? Read more

Super Soft C-Ring


photo 2The wonderful folks at Tantus broke a new record by sending me my first cock ring ever to review. The Super Soft C-Ring is made of 100% medical grade silicone. If you are considering buying your first cock ring, and you are hoping for something soft and moderately stretchy, I highly recommend that you consider the Super Soft. This is the most affordable silicone ring that I have found at only $9.99. It is stretchy enough to go on either erect or flaccid. Most importantly, it is phthalate free, paraben free, and virtually non-porous. Read more

Ripple Small

photo 4Like most Tantus toys, the Ripple Small is made of smooth, glossy, silicone. This is one of the best materials out there, especially for anal toys. It is non-porous, hypoallergenic, non-toxic, phthalate free, paraben free, boilable, bleachable, and dishwasher safe. Spending more than a couple bucks on a toy may seem like a luxury for some, but this is a butt toy essential. Also, with Tantus Grab-Bags you can get this toy for $16.99. Seriously. That is the same amount that I have spent on shitty rubber toys, and silicone can last you a fucking lifetime. You do the math.

In my opinion, this is the type of toy that anyone interested in exploring anal play should try at least once. It is very flexible, but also firm enough for smooth entry, and (this is where it won me over) the shape is perfect for gentle thrusting. Because the beads are so close together, it slides more easily than traditional anal beads. That popping sensation is less intense, sure, but the way it massages my sphincter is so stimulatingin all the right ways. This is a toy that is meant to be played with, and that brings me to my next point. Read more