Welcome to my FAQ page. This is where I will be answering your most commonly asked questions. No real names will be used in my posts.
So please, feel free to ask a fucking question.
Q: What does “sex positive” mean to you?
A: I believe that being sex positive means promoting a happy, healthy sex life (or asexual life) for every type of person. It means being open-minded, and always willing to learn new things in the pursuit of better sexual education. It means believing in equality and presenting sex in a way that is inclusive to everyone. Sex positive people really push the boundaries of sexual discussion in society and work hard to bust taboos, myths, and sex-shaming behaviors. One of the most important things about being sex-positive is in helping each individual learn to love themselves and reach their desired sexual outcome in a healthy way. Most of all, it is the acceptance of sex as a normal part of life and embracing it as such.
Q: What is a Pantophile?
A: Pantophile is a word derived from the Greek prefix “Pan.” Similar to it’s appearance in the word pansexual, the prefix in pantophile refers to everyone or all. From my perspective, you can look at this word in one of two ways; it can mean “lover of all” or the more interesting in my opinion “to be aroused by everything.”
Q: Why Pantophile Panic?
A: If you understand the meaning of the word pantophile, you’ll find that my name is a play on words describing both my loving, sex positive outlook on life and my unfortunate health problems. I have a rare condition called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder; and although that does not literally mean that I am aroused by everything, I do have a near-constant clitoral erection. I find that life is boring if you can’t learn to make fun of yourself or your awkward clit boner. As for the latter half of my name, I have PTSD and extreme hyper-arousal (get it?) which has my loved ones constantly telling me not to panic.
Q: What is Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder?
A: PGAD is a very rare neurological disorder found in only a small handful of people with vulvas. It is a subset of a larger and more common group of disorders that are categorized as Chronic Pelvic Pain. Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder causes it’s victims to experience spontaneous, persistent, uncontrollable arousal of the genitals. This is very painful. This can be accompanied by swelling of the genitals and or spontaneous orgasm. Little research has been done to discover the exact cause of this disorder, though it is believed that a malfunctioning of the nerves is to blame. The Institute for Women in Pain offers a great article by Dr. Echenberg in which he answers some of the most common questions about PGAD here.
Q: What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder?
A: PMDD is similar to PMS, but the disorder is less common and the symptoms are more severe. This government website gives a brief overview of the symptoms of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. My cycle specifically is extremely irregular. I can bleed anywhere between a few days to a few months at a time. There is no way to predict when I will have my period, either. It may arrive once a month, three times a month, or three times a year. The time I spend on my period is miserable. I become severely depressed, angry, and the symptoms of both my PGAD and PTSD are elevated. The cramping and muscle pain I experience is debilitating. There have been times where I was unable to eat, sleep, work, or even stand for more than a few minutes at a time as a result of my PMDD. I have also been hospitalized on multiple occasions because of the unbearable symptoms. I really wish someone would just remove my uterus already.
Q: What is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? (Trigger Warning)
A: PTSD is a long-term anxiety disorder that is caused after a person experiences or witnesses something traumatic such as domestic violence, childhood violence or neglect, molestation, mental abuse, religious abuse, verbal abuse, death or serious illness of a loved one, war or combat, car accidents or plane crashes, natural disasters, other violent crimes such as robbery or shooting, kidnapping, and most commonly rape. It causes the person to relive the traumatic event(s) in the form of flashbacks or recurring nightmares. There are several other related symptoms such as dissociation, depression, anxiety, irritability, hyper-arousal, hyper-vigilance, varying levels of inability to speak, intrusive memories of the event, inability to remember important aspects of the trauma, etc. This government website gives a brief description of PTSD and some of its symptoms here. In some cases, PTSD may be considered a full-fledged disability because the symptoms can impair a person’s basic ability to function.
Q: What type of PTSD do you have? (Trigger Warning)
A: I was diagnosed with Rape Related PTSD. However, my post traumatic stress is not limited to rape, as it also includes childhood abuse, molestation, domestic violence, car accidents, and witnessing violence enacted upon animals. My life has not always been butterflies and dildos, but I take pride in how far I have come. This blog has actually played a huge role in my recovery. This is me taking back my humanity from the people who hurt me. I am not afraid to be a happy, healthy individual. My body belongs to me. My sexuality is mine to keep.
Q: Why do some people use trigger warnings? What do they mean?
A: Trigger warnings are an important part of basic courtesy. They alert us of something that may be emotionally devastating, or have the potential to cause flashbacks in those with PTSD. When we use a TW, we acknowledge that not everyone is automatically in the right head space to process specific situations or information when encountered unaware. It is appropriate to use a warning before talking about abuse, sexual violence, molestation, torture, rape, suicide, self-harm, body shaming, eating disorders, violence, kidnapping, etc. These are not much different than the mature content ratings given to movies and video games.
Q: What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?