Welcome to this week’s review, otherwise known as “I dip my dildos in cream cheese for science!” Let’s start right off the bat with some details about our product, the Plunge Paddle! This is one of five silicone paddles made by the wonderful folks over at Tantus. It most closely resembles their Thwack Paddle. However, unlike the other four, the handle has been redesigned to also act as a dildo for insertion play.
If you are a kinkster like myself and are seriously into impact play then I can see why you might be drooling at this thing from a mile away. A silicone paddle has a few advantages over more traditional materials such as wood, rubber, or leather. This includes being waterproof, non-porous, and 100% body safe. The concept behind the Plunge Paddle is brilliant. So, how could it go wrong?
The dildo has a HOLE in the insertable part. Why? It serves the purpose of giving retailers a way to hang them up for display with the other paddles, whips, and floggers. This was a great idea with the original four paddles and it does look nice hanging up. However, on the Plunge paddle this infuriates me. It seems like they only kept the hole on the handle for the sake of remaining uniform with the other paddles. Otherwise, I cannot fathom why they would not have put the hole on the top of the paddle itself, or left out the hole altogether.
Admittedly, the hole is non-intrusive during actual play. This is coming from someone who cannot stand to do regular pap-smears because their vagina and cervix are so sensitive. The hole is indeed noticeable, and a bit peculiar, but it has never irritated or hurt me. Pain was originally my biggest fear, so I was relieved when it did not rip my insides out. That being said, I still believe that this is a significant design flaw.
Silicone sex toys are particularly wonderful because they are easy to sterilize. This is essential for anyone who is interested in sharing their toys with partners, or who like using their toys both vaginally and anally. Unfortunately, the hole ruins this aspect, as it is a magnet for vaginal secretions, fecal matter, dirt, lint, bacteria, viruses, and anything else you can imagine. If you are looking for a low-maintenance product that require minimal cleaning effort then this is a serious deal breaker because the Plunge is insanely, unreasonably difficult to clean.
If I have learned anything from my work as a sex toy tester, it is that nothing is impossible. For science, and the sake of figuring out how to properly clean my new dildo, I chose to dunk it in a bowl of cream cheese before trying every possible way to clean out that pesky hole. I have no real excuse for this other than the fact that it was much more pleasant to work with cream cheese rather than actual butt stuff or vag gunk. It did not occur to me to take pictures of this experiment, so I may have to repeat it in the future. Thankfully, what did come out of my observations is that I have developed a 5 step process for cleaning the Plunge Paddle/dildo.
Step 1. Try to rinse the grime out of the hole with soap and water. Sometimes this is all you need before moving on to step five. Unfortunately this does not work in the case that the hole contains feces (or cream cheese.) Step 2. Let that mother fucker soak in hot water for half an hour. Step 3. Locate some tools for cleaning the gunk out with. I tried q-tips, pipe cleaners, a clean mascara applicator, and an old tooth brush. Step 4. Scrub that shit out until it is visibly clean. You need to be scrupulous. Step 5. Put the Plunge paddle in your dishwasher on the top rack (hole facing down,) boil it in a large pot of water for 5-10 minutes, or soak it in a 10% bleach solution for 5-10 minutes.
Besides the stupid fucking hole, the dildo is not so bad. (Though, I would recommend using a condom if you want to skip the clean-up.) I like the curved head and the firmness of the silicone. I was able to squirt with this dildo, but those reading should keep in mind that I am a professional on a closed course. The silicone has a nice, smooth, matte finish to it, but it still causes some drag. It has a visible seam around the edges, but it is not perceivable when inserted vaginally. It is anal safe because of the large paddle base, and the curved head would probably make for some decent prostate stimulation. Again, condoms are highly preferable to dealing with butt stuff later, because you will literally have to scrub the shit out of that hole.
The dildo makes for a more ergonomic handle than those on the other four paddles. Though, It can get pretty difficult to hold on to for spanking after the dildo handle has been lubed up and used. I like to keep a towel around to wipe things off with, but I dislike having to pause to dry the handle whenever I want to use it for impact again. Using the Plunge to penetrate someone else can make it a little awkward to hold, because you end up gripping most of the insertable part. I wish there was a round, textured handle between the dildo and paddle. A design reminiscent of those double-bladed lightsabers from Star Wars would be ideal.
My favorite part of this toy is the actual paddle. It produces a very nice smack with minimal effort from the holder. It stings in a way that other paddles do not. The sensation is similar to the feeling of a belt being slapped against the skin, but it covers more surface area so it is less intense. I really liked that they used the square paddle as the model for the Plunge’s shape as it was my favorite of the original four, but I think it would be interesting to see some new designs as well. In less than 100 thwacks I went from zero to blissful sub space.
Some have claimed that this toy is not suitable for beginners because it has the real potential to hurt someone. I’m calling bullshit. This toy can create a very gentle thud, or the stingiest slap you have ever felt in your life. It all depends on who is wielding it and how much energy they use. Any good dominant knows that one should always test these types of toys on their own body before using them on another person. Communication is essential when it comes to any type of sexual activity. If you are paddling someone else you better be asking and listening to how they are feeling.
Overall, I think this is a great concept. All of the Tantus paddles are high quality and just fucking good if you are into spanking or like to be spanked. Although the size and shape were fantastic, I think the dildo could use a serious redesign. I would recommend getting this if you have $55 and are between getting a paddle or a dildo because it is a great two for one price. However, the other paddles are just as good for 10 dollars less if you are as iffy about that hole as I was.
You can buy the Plunge Paddle from Tantus directly HERE.
Tantus sent me the Plunge Paddle in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you Tantus! All my love and dildos.