Stronic Eins

Stronic Eins Fun Factory really shook things up this time with their new line of Pulsators. The technology behind these toys is completely different than anything else on the market. Unlike vibrators, the Stronic Eins, Zwei, and Drei do not buzz or rumble. Instead, they are mostly hollow on the inside and utilize a small metal weight that shifts back and forth to create a smooth thrusting motion.

Nothing excited me more than finally getting my hands on the Stronic Eins (the smallest, least textured of the three.) It was a little pricey, but every sex toy reviewer and their kinky grandmother seemed to love this thing. Many claimed it was one of the best g-spot toys out there. Guys, I am disappoint.

I was initially lead to believe that the Stronic Eins was like a portable fucking machine. It sounds gimmicky, but it really does thrust. You can actually feel the weight moving freely inside the toy if you hold it in your hands. This is unlike any other product out there. It also has some really great features to offer. All three of the Fun Factory pulsators are waterproof, 100% body safe, easy to clean, rechargeable, have a quick turn-off switch, and even include a travel lock. The Stronic Eins is fairly quiet, and it reminds me of a kitten purring.

Disappointingly though- regardless of all the wonderful things I thought I knew and loved about the Stronic Eins- the sensation the pulsator produces is closer to those weird vibrating weight loss machines than a sex toy. There are 10 different settings in all that go from a sluggish thrust, pause, thrust to a super fast tremor that just shakes my body in an uncomfortable way. I feel required to mention that there are also a few patterns in addition to the consistent thrusting modes. Evidently all this shaking totally does it for some people, but it was not my cup of tea. My hopes and dreams were crushed in the first session I had with the Eins, but I spent $200 on this piece of junk so I tried just about everything I could think of to try and make it work.

Stronic EinsOne of my biggest issues with this toy was that it was extremely uncomfortable to insert. Let me make this clear, the size was not a challenge for me. It has a weird shape, but the Eins is only about 1.5 inches in diameter which is pretty average sized and comparable to a human penis in girth. The problem is that the body of the toy is made of a hard unforgiving plastic with a thin layer of silicone covering. The Eins is not soft. It just kept hitting my pubic bone in a painful way. I tried warming up with larger toys; the pain persisted. I tried using more lube. Nothing.

No lube will ever be enough lube for the Stronic Eins. The only way to avoid the Eins shaking my genitals into itchy, numbing, oblivion was by making sure it was able to slide in and out with almost no friction. The outer silicone layer on the Eins is more draggy than any other silicone toy that I currently own. (Not to mention it attracts lint like a magnet.) It fucking ate half a bottle of my favorite water-based lubricant in less than an hour.

Positioning was a huge obstacle as well. No matter what contortions I did, it still would not hit my g-spot. I went through the entire masturbatory Kama Sutra before I could figure out how to keep it from hitting my pubic bone, falling out, or bashing violently against my cervix. Even while lying awkwardly with my butt in the air- complete with a pillow fort around my genitals trying to keep this thing in place- it was not comfortable. Again, the Stronic Eins has to move freely to feel good, but it rarely does that.

I called my partner, Salem, in to help me. He could not even figure out how to work the damn thing. It thrusts itself, so it is counter intuitive for a partner who is used to thrusting things into you. All he could really do was hold it for me so I could lay lazily without the wall of pillows keeping it in for me. He tried using it on my clitoris, but unless you can get off with very gentle rubbing the Stronic Eins is completely useless for clitoral stimulation. Maybe it would be cool way to simulate a threesome if it did not cause me so much pain. In all of half an hour I had decided that this was not a couples toy.

Stronic EinsIn my final attempts to make use of the Stronic Eins, I paired it with my favorite clitoral vibrator and went to work. It took me significantly longer to reach orgasm than usual because the Eins made me uncomfortable, but I did eventually climax. When my muscles contracted and I clenched around the shaft of the pulsator it did not cease to thrust or slow down at all. In this way the pulsator actually did work to intensify my orgasm by making it last longer.

Does that make up for the fact that it cost me $200, bruised my genitals, and wasted my favorite lubricant? No. I typically have orgasms in the multiples. The Stronic Eins did not even help me reach that one, single orgasm. It only made it more difficult for me to get off. So what if I can clench around it while my vaginal tissue spasms? I can achieve the same stimulation with any of my other dildos or with the help of a loving partner.

There is one thing that could have completely changed my mind about this toy- a flared base. The Stronic Eins is marketed for vaginal use only, so I know this really should not be considered a flaw, but because the other two pulsators are anal safe it kind of bothers me that they did not bother to make the smaller, texture free one anal safe as well. The pulsating action was something that I can definitely imagine being pleasurable anally, especially since I would not have to worry about it jabbing into my pubic bone or cervical wall. This makes me seriously wonder if I chose the wrong pulsator.

So, despite my best efforts, the Stronic Eins was not for me. This does not necessarily make it a bad product. Fun Factory has every right to be marketing this off at $200 because it is brand new technology and you really can not find this sort of thing anywhere else. Would it be a good toy for you? To be honest, I have no fucking idea. So many other people have claimed to like the Stronic Eins that I am still wondering if my experience was just a fluke. It is very possible that it just did not work for me because of my anatomy, and that you may have a wonderful or equally terrible experience with the toy.

 

If you are still interested you can buy the Stronic Eins from SheVibe HERE.

Also, feel free to check out the Stronic Zwei and Stronic Drei, also available from SheVibe.

 

14 comments

  1. My drei arrived yesterday, and I was so excited to use it. I’d read several killer reviews, and had high expectations. It was a bit disappointing. It was very pleasant, relaxing—but it did not wow me. I’d never used a pulsator before so maybe I expected too much. In the end I grew inpatient, and added a little clitorial stimulation to find my happy place. I’ll give it a few more tries before I label it a $200 dud.

  2. It’s nice to read a new perspective on this toy. You know, before dropping 200 bucks on it.
    I’m not so concerned about the shape but the lube situation. I’m not one to even use lube because it’s hassle sometimes. (that doesn’t usually go well tho)
    There needs to be a sex toy exchange, really. why don’t these sites exist?

    1. Yeah, if you do not believe in using lube then you should not get the Stronic Eins because you will hate everything afterwords.
      There actually are sex toy exchange websites. You just have to be invited. :)

  3. This. All of this. I felt like such a weirdo when I didn’t like this toy. I mean the almighty Epiphora sings it’s praises from the mountain tops and every other blogger throughout the land is in love with it and it just didn’t work for me.

    The silicone is evil and the shape is just awkward, the base is so wide around my vaginal opening, and the thrusting is just… meh.

    You should think about putting it up on Toyswap or selling it, I’m still afraid to get rid of mine because I like acquiring things, and having it for comparison, and I think part of me still thinks that one day I might grow to like it. Spoilers: I probably won’t.

    1. I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with it as well. That shit is way too expensive for most people to risk not liking it at all.
      I hoped for a long ass time that I would eventually find a way to enjoy it. Nothing worked. In the end I sold it to a good friend of mine for about half the price I got it for.
      Good riddance.

  4. I’m so sorry that this did not work for you! I just got my Eins and, though I haven’t used it yet, agree entirely with what you said about its silicone. I’m starting to worry that I, too, will hate it. It must be a terrible feeling to have wasted that much, though.

  5. The stats for the Eins have the diameter down as 1.75″ which is what scared me away from it in the first place. 1.5″ is better, but I still don’t think I’d enjoy the Eins as much as others have.
    If I ever purchase any of the Stronic line I’ll buy it from Lovehoney. At least then I can use their awesome return policy!

    1. Yeah, no. Maybe the handle is 1.75 inches in diameter, but the insertable portion is definitely closer to 1.5 inches.
      The reason I couldn’t return the toy is because I bought it from a local sex shop that doesn’t offer refunds. Most websites have pretty good return policies if you order them online. Always a good thing to read up on.

    1. Aw, man. I knew I should have bought the Drei.
      It just looked so much bigger in pictures that I was afraid I would not even be able to insert it.

  6. Long ago, when I read that you got this little stronic, I really hoped you would have enjoyed it. It sounded so wonderful. I mean a portable fuck machine… what could be better? So sorry that $200 wasn’t worth it. That must have been a horrible feeling. I hate buying something I’ll regret. Especially when it’s in such a high range of price…
    Nevertheless, I’m still very curious about this toy. I still have this little tiny bit of hope in myself that I might enjoy it…maybe… XD

  7. I’ve been drooling over the entire Stronic line since I first heard of it, but now I’m not so sure.
    It really does look like a fabulous innovative toy, but like you said it’s not going to work for everyone. There are probably anatomies out there that just work with the Stronic, and ones that don’t. I’m hesitant to fork over hundreds of my minimum wage dollars for a gamble.
    Thanks for the review and letting us know that it’s not a toy for everyone!

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